What does success mean to you? How has your definition of success evolved over time? Decide what you want – personally and professionally. Then go for it and believe that you can achieve it – until you can’t. Then stop, reflect, reset and ultimately pivot to either go around the obstacle or go toward a new goal. Each time you just need to keep going after what you want and pivoting to determine a new path to get where you want to go in all the parts of your life. RETIRED PARTNER, TAX, EXECUTIVE COMPENSATION & BENEFITS LAW SCHOOL GRADUATION YEAR 1981 YEAR JOINED WEIL 1984 YEAR PROMOTED TO PARTNER 1989 HOMETOWN FAIRLAWN, NJ What did you want to be as a child? I wanted to be a psychologist. I was the one others turned to for advice. “Helyn Help Us” was the phrase my friends came up with. But I was concerned that as a psychologist, I might end up working with someone for many years and still not be able to solve their problems! I knew that would be too frustrating for me. So I decided to become a lawyer instead – that way I could still give advice and get concrete results. What was a lesson you learned the hard way? My final semester in college I had to complete my science requirement to graduate. I took anatomy, which was really for pre-med majors. Honestly, I took it because my boyfriend at the time was pre-med. There was a two-part final – I knew I could study and cram enough to pass the classroom final, but it wasn’t going to be enough to pass the lab final. I had the hubris to think I could talk my professor into passing me, but she wouldn’t. So even though I could walk in graduation, I hadn’t technically graduated. And I wasn’t able to start at law school that fall without completing my requirement and graduating, so I had to take a summer school class. I learned to have some humility and remember that there are rules that need to be followed whether I really cared about them or not. What was your first job? I was a waitress. I was good at being a greeter and taking orders, but not at the serving and clearing part, so I didn’t last long. Looking back, what did you stress over that was unnecessary? There were times when I felt that I wasn’t doing enough at either work or at home. I was too hard on myself, expecting to be able to do everything in both areas at the same time. I would have given myself a break. Please describe a mistake or failure and how it ultimately helped you learn and grow. As a young associate at my first firm, I had to draft a memo for a client who was about to get on a plane for a meeting that she needed the information for. I stayed up all night to write up the memo, and I made two copies, dropping one off at the client’s apartment before she left and keeping one for myself. Later that day, I reread the memo and noticed a wrong word that was a significant change in meaning in an important sentence in the memo. There were no emails or cellphones for me to get in touch with the client. I contacted the partner, who went to great lengths to reach the client and explain. From then on, I became an incessant proofreader. I also learned the importance of someone “having your back” when you make a mistake. In moments of self-doubt or adversity, how do you build yourself up? We all have an essential nature that comes out in times of stress – for me it’s a positive outlook on life. I assume that it will all work out and that I can make it happen. This can be challenging at times – especially as lawyers. We’re trained to see problems and obstacles, and sometimes when we focus on managing risk, it can keep us from taking the risks we need to take in our lives and careers. What do you turn to when you need perspective or to unwind during a challenging time? Being prepared and organized is how I deal with stress and avoid feeling overwhelmed. Also, I think back to previous examples when I overcame a challenge – relying on my own self-history – to remind myself that I can get through this too. We all have reservoirs of resilience to tap through our past experiences. What advice would you give to others? Enjoy the ride. It’s such a privilege to operate in an environment like this and be able to use your extraordinary abilities and talents. However, don’t let work subsume you or life overwhelm you – have a broader view backwards and forwards. Shop, play tennis, binge watch TV, find whatever you like doing and use it to broaden your perspective and bring enjoyment to your life. I have friends who look back and regret they stopped practicing law, and others who regret making work their whole lives. It’s quite a juggle at times to do both, but it’s worth it. I think back to previous examples when I overcame a challenge – relying on my own selfhistory – to remind myself that I can get through this too. We all have reservoirs of resilience to tap through our past experiences. “ ” 18 · WEIL WOMEN’S WISDOM
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